The Merck Manual of Medical Information

L, S and I are sprawled across my living room in various states of recline. At half past midnight, we are sluggish but unwilling to go to bed yet. We are enjoying the slumber-party atmosphere of our girls’ weekend in San Francisco.

“So I saw this movie where Johnny Depp’s nose falls off,” says S. “What disease could make your nose fall off?”

L and I think about this question very seriously.

“Syphilis, do you think?” wonders S.

“I don’t know anything about syphilis. How about leprosy? But I don’t know anything about that either,” I say.

“Yeah, leprosy maybe,” L agrees.

“But doesn’t just your skin come off with leprosy? I don’t know about your whole nose.”

“Hey, I have The Merck Manual. You can look it up. L, grab that big fat red book on the bottom shelf.”

L takes charge of The Merck Manual. While she looks up leprosy, we descend into drowsy silence.

“Hey!” says L. “Listen to this: More than 1 million people worldwide have leprosy. Leprosy is most common in Asia… About 4,000 people in the United States are infected—“

“Wow,” S and I say in unison.

“—most of them in California, Hawaii, and Texas.”

“Hey! L, we live in California!”

“Hmmm. Let’s see. Casual and short-term contact does not seem to spread the disease. Leprosy cannot be contracted by simply touching someone with the disease, as is commonly believed.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.”

“OK, here it is. Damage to the nasal passages can result in a chronically stuffy nose and, if untreated, complete erosion of the nose.”

“Alright, then,” I say. “Leprosy it is.”

“Yup,” agrees S.

L returns The Merck Manual to the bookcase and we gaze at the ceiling in silence.

The Merck Manual of Medical Information

Tags: johnny+depp leprosy medical+reference Merck