If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno
One Book You Wish Had Never Been Written
I am going to go above and beyond the scope of this question (also known as cheating) and say that there is in fact an entire genre of books I wish had never been written. Jay Leno’s If Roast Beef Could Fly is by no means the first, most popular, or most indicative of the quality of this entire class of books, but I have chosen it as my scapegoat because the cover is such an eyesore and the title is so dumb that you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to disagree with me. The genre I am speaking of so harshly is Celebrity-Authored Children’s Books.
At first, I had trouble with this question. I consider myself a highly tolerant person who believes wholeheartedly in the freedom of speech. So, while I may not have enjoyed reading particular books, I have not consequently wished that they had never been written at all. There is a huge difference between not wanting to read a book oneself and wishing that others could not read it either.
I tried to think of books that changed the world for the worse. Maybe the world would have been better off without those. Mein Kampf? Mao’s Little Red Book? Unfortunately, my knowledge of history is insufficient to make an educated choice in this arena. I thought of more recent offenses: anything by Ann Coulter, or maybe that book I accidentally stumbled across on Amazon and that has traumatized me ever since, Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! But my sense of civic duty does not permit me to wipe our world free of these ideas, no matter how idiotic they seem to me.
That’s when I had my epiphany. If all the children’s books written by celebrities suddenly disappeared from the world, there would be no negative consequences! Celebrities have no trouble being seen or heard anyway. They would still have all the freedom of speech they currently enjoy, with no ill effects.
On the plus side, we would no longer be in danger of these hastily written, terribly-illustrated works of drivel falling into the hands of our impressionable children. In addition, our children would not be taught that people who are famous should exploit their name recognition for a few easy bucks from fanatical suckers who will buy anything with a famous name on it. They would be shielded from the cruel ways of the world, where wealth and talent are confused for one and the same, at least for a little while longer—until they turn on the television.
If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno
tags: children's books book reviews celebrity authors Jay Leno
I am going to go above and beyond the scope of this question (also known as cheating) and say that there is in fact an entire genre of books I wish had never been written. Jay Leno’s If Roast Beef Could Fly is by no means the first, most popular, or most indicative of the quality of this entire class of books, but I have chosen it as my scapegoat because the cover is such an eyesore and the title is so dumb that you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to disagree with me. The genre I am speaking of so harshly is Celebrity-Authored Children’s Books.At first, I had trouble with this question. I consider myself a highly tolerant person who believes wholeheartedly in the freedom of speech. So, while I may not have enjoyed reading particular books, I have not consequently wished that they had never been written at all. There is a huge difference between not wanting to read a book oneself and wishing that others could not read it either.
I tried to think of books that changed the world for the worse. Maybe the world would have been better off without those. Mein Kampf? Mao’s Little Red Book? Unfortunately, my knowledge of history is insufficient to make an educated choice in this arena. I thought of more recent offenses: anything by Ann Coulter, or maybe that book I accidentally stumbled across on Amazon and that has traumatized me ever since, Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! But my sense of civic duty does not permit me to wipe our world free of these ideas, no matter how idiotic they seem to me.
That’s when I had my epiphany. If all the children’s books written by celebrities suddenly disappeared from the world, there would be no negative consequences! Celebrities have no trouble being seen or heard anyway. They would still have all the freedom of speech they currently enjoy, with no ill effects.
On the plus side, we would no longer be in danger of these hastily written, terribly-illustrated works of drivel falling into the hands of our impressionable children. In addition, our children would not be taught that people who are famous should exploit their name recognition for a few easy bucks from fanatical suckers who will buy anything with a famous name on it. They would be shielded from the cruel ways of the world, where wealth and talent are confused for one and the same, at least for a little while longer—until they turn on the television.
If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno
tags: children's books book reviews celebrity authors Jay Leno
posted by Renee at 10:28 AM
feed me
5 Comments:
Good heavens. That may be the worst book cover I've ever seen. Going to go back and stare at it some more now...
Okay, you know it's a bad sign when the author's name is larger than the title. Sheesh!
I couldn't read your two prior posts yet because both of the books are sitting on my 'to read' shelf - I'm especially looking forward to The Time Traveler's Wife.
I couldn't agree more!!
That's the smartest answer I've read to this question.
The best I've ever read in this arena was Dolly Pardon's "Coat of Many Colors." It was about a coat she loved that others made fun of, which did a nice job of getting across the point of don't be afraid to follow your heart.
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